Help

 I would actually like to know how many of you, have had any kind of thought suicidal or other because life is weighing you down. And decided to try to seek help through 988 and actually got the help that you needed. On a whim I dialed 988 on needing the help and it took me 2 minutes and 58 seconds before somebody would actually answer.. But aren't they supposed to be there when you need them. An automated system is not an answer. So how long is somebody that actually is thinking that way it's supposed to say and hold before they can actually talk to somebody, before they just say forget it. I know that when somebody wants to actually commit suicide they won't tell anybody or reach out for help they'll just find a way to do it because they're at their wits end, but they're only at that point because they've tried to reach out for help and friends family or anybody else ignored the signs. Nowadays with everybody analog and more worried about followers or making money as opposed to investing in friends and family is rare and that makes me very sad. Eventually you have to disconnect to reconnect to the things that matter and the younger generation is not going to get it but the right people should.

A Healthy Relationship, Is A Good Foundation

What is a Relationship?

A relationship can mean many things from friendship, family, work, or sexual but, the one i am referring to is when you are with someone you are dating or even love. The definition of relationship is a particularly close interpersonal relationship. It can be defined by enduring behavioral independence, repeated interactions, emotional attachment, and need fulfillment.
Relationships play a central role in the overall human experience because, we as people have a need to belong and to love which is satisfied by having a relationship. I don't want to go into what a relationship should be because everybody is different and has different outlooks. But, when you find that one person to be with, you both should be on the same page as to what is important in a relationship.

So my focus is going to be on the foundation of a relationship because, that should be universal for everybody.
I recently asked 10 men two questions. One that i believe is important in a relationship and one i believe is important to some people in a relationship. The first question i asked was
How important is communication to you in a relationship?
Here are a few responses i got.

• Communication is the key to any relationship. Without it a relationship fails bottom line.

• Communication is the most important thing. If there is no communication than there is no relationship.

• Communication is of utmost importance in any relationship. Without communication there's no point even getting into the relationship.

• Communication is vital for any relationship to be healthy and successful.

• Communication is the foundation for any relationship.

I look at the shell of a relationship like building a house. Its a lot of hard work but easy to erect. So lets start at the bottom.
First you would have your foundation which would be communication. We all agree communication is very important to any relationship. without it your like friends with benefits or room mates. So remember to keep an open line of communication.

Second would be your walls which would have three parts. Honestly, loyalty, and trust. You always need to be honest about anything with your partner. If you can't be honest about your feelings, needs, or wants than you defiantly can't trust. If you don't trust your partner about where they are, what they are doing, or what their feelings are than you don't need to be in a relationship with them. That in turn falls into loyalty. If you are going to commit yourself to that one person. You should be with just that one person. If you can't be loyal than you can't trust, which mean you can't be honest to your partner or to yourself.

The third thing would be your roof, which would be respect. Everyone should have respect for themselves and for others.
It's like the old saying goes " Do onto others what you would want done to you." If you don't respect your partner or their opinions, than how do you expect them to respect you or your opinions? It's just like a house, everything has to go together to fit just right.

The second question i asked was,

How do you feel about PDA (Public Displays Of Affection)?

Now i only asked this question because i came across a guy that said he did it when he was younger but, not so much anymore. so that got me wondering if most guys felt the same way.
The answers i got were different than what i expected. Out of all ten men, five were really psyched about PDA. The other five said it was ok but, they would do it.

Here are a few responses i got.

• PDA is great!! If i am not proud to be with my partner and feeling good showing it than i am with the wrong person. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, and stroking her hair, makes her feel cherished and me feel good as well.

• PDA is OK. You should be able to express your feelings for whoever you are with, without being looked down on from the public.

• I think there should be PDA. It looks like your hiding something if you can't show PDA.

• PDA is good just not over the top.
  

Me personally i believe PDA is awesome!!! It not only should make you feel good because your with someone you want to touch but, also make them feel wanted and loved. I am not talking about making out in pubic but, to simply put your arm around them, hold their hand, or touch the small of the back while escorting them into a room. It makes anyone feel wanted. And everybody could use a little of that.

We live in a world with a lot of dishonesty, cheating, and no respect for the fellow man or woman. Why would you want to bring that into a relationship? Truth is you wouldn't.
When you find that one person you can't stop thinking about or being around than just be yourself, have fun, and don't forget to cherish each other and communicate.

Dating Today

Is online dating the way to meet your match?

Over half of the population is turning to online dating hoping to find that special someone they can share their life with. Is it worth your time?

As a former online dater i can say it has its ups and downs. You can meet a lot of men or women that might turn your head or spark an interest. The key is to decide which ones are real and which ones want you to believe they are what you are looking for. Keep in mind anybody can be who they want to be online. They could be millionaire or someone living under a bridge. OK well under a bridge is taking it a bit too far but, you get the point. When you connect with someone online whether it be off of looks or the striking conversation you have. Just remember to ask a few key questions.

• Are you in my area?
  

Their profile could say they are in your area but, they may not be. I ran into a few guys who said they were in my area but, were deployed, lived in another town, or had moved to another state.

• Are you single?
  

You would be surprised on how many people are actually on a dating site who are attached. There are some ways to find out if they are in a relationship. If they give you their number and they can only text at odd times of the day or you are having a hard time meeting them in person, Than they are more than likely in a relationship. But, they could just be involved in the game we all call work and have a different work schedule than you. It never hurts to ask.

• What are you looking for?
  

This is not in terms of what you are looking for in a mate but, what kind of relationship. I ran across several men who said they wanted a real relationship on their profile but, when asked the question online or in person i usually got a different answer.

After exchanging a couple of emails it would be best to meet that person in a pubic place to see if they are what your looking for so no one is wasting their time. It may look like you connect with someone online but, when you meet in person it can be a different story.


Now do you pay for a dating site or go to a free one?

I always used the free sites but, you need to read before you sign up. It may say it is free to sign up and set up a profile. Than when you are wanting to send a message to the cute guy you saw online or when wanting to read your messages they may ask you to upgrade to a paying member.

You always have the paying sites that cost you an arm and leg to join but, some of those sites screen to weed out the fake people from the real ones. So some paying sites do have their advantages compared to the free sites.


I always looked at it this way, why pay for something that may not be a guarantee that you will find that special someone. I think that if you take the time to focus on something else in your life the great guy that you were looking for will show up unexpectedly. The decision is all up to you on which route you go. Just remember to ask questions and meet in person.

Good luck to everyone on finding the love of your life in the crazy but carefree world of dating.